Contrary to what you may have been told, femininity is more than pretty dresses and speaking in a sexy baby voice. Actually, please don’t try to sound like a sexy baby. That’s gross. Just like there is a polarity between the masculine and feminine, there is a polarity between light and dark feminine.
There is no denying the rift between Modern Feminism and the New Femininity Movement. Femininity is seen as antiquated and oppressive, while feminism is seen as necessary for women’s survival, and understandably so. In our society, femininity is viewed as a weakness because our society is traditionally patriarchal and anti-feminine. However, femininity has been misunderstood and dangerously underestimated. To its detriment, femininity is typically only described as the embodiment of receptivity, passivity, and gentility, or complete submission to the masculine. This one-sided depiction leaves out other essential aspects of femininity. The uncovering and teaching of the dark feminine is a significant key to uniting all women and progressing into a harmonious future with our masculine counterparts.
There is a duality within everything in our world, meaning there are always opposite forces at work. The same can be said of feminine and masculine energy—there is a light and dark side to both. It’s easy to mix up the terms light and dark with good and evil, but they are not one and the same. We all have a light and dark side, and we need both in order to maintain balance.
Destruction is a necessary part of creation. We cannot have success without failure, just as there cannot be birth without death. The light and dark aspects of the feminine work together to create wholeness. This is how we as women can access our true power.
What is Dark and Light Feminine Energy?
The divine feminine encompasses both light and dark feminine energies. Light feminine energy is the more socially accepted version of femininity. It is the cute, submissive version of femininity that is timid and likes to please people. There is nothing wrong with being that if that is what truly makes you happy; and you are partnered with someone who honors that about you and will not take advantage of your kindness and willingness to give.
The dark feminine is the other and arguably more powerful side of the divine feminine. She is not the purely negative, shadow aspect of femininity, but rather the passionate, fiery, and transformative side of womanhood. The continuous cycle of birth, death, and rebirth is essential to our story as women, and to mother earth.
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Why Should I Lean into My Dark Feminine Energy?
If living passionately and transformationally sound scary or uncomfortable it’s okay. The vast majority of women are taught to be timid and submissive to please people as a survival mechanism. Leaning into your dark feminine energy allows you to stand up for yourself, assert your boundaries, likes, and dislikes, and ultimately get what you want out of life.
Dark feminine energy is the energy of seduction, it allows the polarity of the cat and mouse chase that keep men and women interested in you. It allows you to be mysterious and keeps people on their toes around you. Like the vintage jack-in-the-box children’s toy, people will enjoy being around you to see when you’ll erupt in fiery feminine greatness just like they enjoy winding up the toy. And no, fiery feminine greatness doesn’t always have to mean an emotional outburst.
Women do not wield power by force. We do it softly and in ways where everyone feels like they are winning, even if it means them going out of their way to please you. You are not a man so why try to wield power like one if it doesn’t feel natural to you?
How Does Dark Feminine Energy Work?
When a woman has a positive relationship with the dark feminine energy inside her, she can access boundless stores of creative energy. She usually feels comfortable in her body and is confident expressing herself sexually. Her sexual energy has the potential to overwhelm and consume a man’s sexuality entirely. The dark feminine woman is also often wildly seductive and sensual and attracts the attention of both men and women. Furthermore, dark feminine energy also helps a woman to heal her wounded feminine by giving her the strength and courage needed to set boundaries and communicate directly about her wants and needs. In this way, she transforms from a victim to an agent of radical change. She becomes an alchemist.
There is a such thing as too much of a good thing. When a woman has a negative relationship with her dark feminine energy she can be codependent, overly dramatic, manipulative, lack confidence, struggle to assert boundaries, have sex when it doesn’t align with her highest self, and even fake orgasms. All of these things will disempower you so it is important to have a healthy balance of dark and light femininity.
How Do I Become a Dark Feminine?
There is a plethora of information available about how to become more feminine, but there are fewer resources for those who wish to delve deeper into femininity and learn about the dark feminine. To become a dark feminine woman you have to learn how to establish and enforce your boundaries. You have to be willing to walk away when someone shows you that they don’t care about your wants, needs, wishes, and desires.
The dark feminine is the key to releasing anything that is no longer beneficial, embracing the unknown, reconnecting with our hidden strength and power, feeling comfortable in our bodies and sexual energy, accessing creativity, establishing personal boundaries and needs, and communicating them assertively—all without guilt. This is how we progress from being a victim to an alchemist. If you want to start the journey, these are a few ways to tap into dark feminine energy.
How To Tap Into Dark Feminine Energy?
1. Be with nature
Dark feminine energy is found in the earth beneath our feet. This is where death, decay, and rebirth happen every day. It is a place of alchemy and magic. Women are deeply connected to nature because she is us. We are a mirror of her sacred cycle: the four seasons, the moon cycle, the elements, and the constant evolution. So connect with her. Plant your bare feet on the earth, bathe in the ocean, drink in the air, and immerse yourself in nature’s wonders. Physically connecting to nature will help you connect to the dark feminine.
2. Practice self-love
To learn how to embrace dark feminine energy, you have to start with a very deep foundation of self-love and acceptance. Accepting yourself for who you are and as you are, while simultaneously working to become who you aspire to become, will make you feel alive. Especially if you learn to let go of things that feel heavy, give your body what it craves most (healthy diet, movement, etc.), rest when you need it, make peace with your past, and wear clothes and accessories that make you feel at home with yourself at the same time.
3. Practice Journaling Regularly
Writing is a powerful tool for everyone, and it is incredibly impactful for women. It allows us to communicate and explore all of our thoughts and emotions. You can use journal prompts to help you get started or focus on a question or obstacle that has been on your mind for a while. Let yourself write without censoring. Even when you feel stuck or unsure of what to write, keep writing! Let everything come to the surface. You may be surprised by what you discover.
4. Reconnect with the magic of your menstrual cycle
Your menstrual cycle is surrounded by taboo because the patriarchy wanted to disconnect women from their power source. Your sacred cycle is one of your greatest powers as a woman, so if you haven’t yet formed a healthy relationship with it, there’s no time like now.
Menstrual blood is sacred. Your cycle connects you to the earth, the seasons, the feminine archetypes, the moon, and the bridge between the worlds. It is the birth, death, and rebirth cycle happening within you every month. In ancient times, women came together to bleed and honor the moon, and their menstrual blood was used in ceremonies in temples. It is absurd that today, menstruating women are not allowed to enter sacred temples when their blood used to be worshipped at these exact same sites.
5. Embrace the Esoteric
The rise of patriarchy also saw the rise of logic, and the fall of the matriarchy led to the dismissal of intuition, creativity, and esoteric practices such as astrology, tarot, and spellwork. Our society today is very much entrenched in valuing the masculine over the feminine. During the witch hunts, it was illegal to engage in many of these practices. To do so would mean you were labeled a witch, which is why there is still a certain degree of danger, taboo, and fear associated with these.
Deepening your intuition and reclaiming the dark feminine through these esoteric, witchy practices will help you connect to yourself on a much deeper level. Explore your birth chart, buy a set of beautiful oracle cards, or set up a sacred altar for spellwork and ritual. All of these things will allow you to connect to your intuition and higher self.
6. Commune with the Dark Masculine
A man who is in touch with his dark masculine energy will be able to ignite the dark feminine energy in you. Therefore, one of the best ways to access dark feminine energy is to be around a man who has embraced his dark masculinity. This will be evident in his ability to express his emotions and sexual desires while remaining in complete control of them. With such a man, you will feel safe and free from judgment to explore your own darkness.
7. Heal your Feminine Wound
For the most part, we all have profound feminine wounds, both ancestral and current. Under duress, women were coerced into turning against one another out of fear for their own well-being. This was the plan all along–to fracture relationships between women, weaken the already powerful bond of the feminine, and isolate them. Even now, we can see the aftermath of this in the way we suspect and backstab other women out of fear and lack. But if we want to fully accept dark feminine energy and the divine feminine, we must first heal this feminine wound. With this in mind, take a close look at yourself. How do you conduct yourself in relationships with other women, be it family, friends, or community?
Meditation is a tranquilizing discipline and a potent instrument to join our psyche, physicality, and spirituality. It allows us to feel established, and attune to our subconsciousness. Create space to sit in peacefulness for five minutes each day and let all your contemplations and emotions wash over you. Bear in mind, meditation is not about making the mind barren—it will never be vacant—it is about recognizing your thoughts and realizing that they are not you. You are the witness.
9. Open Your Heart
It takes a lot of courage, forgiveness, and vulnerability to be open with yourself and others, and that can be tough for all of us, especially if we’ve been hurt before. But just like forgiving, opening your heart is for your benefit, not anyone else’s. When you live with an open heart, you bring peace into your world, create more genuine relationships, and get to experience your full radiance.
10. Honor the Sacrality of Sex
Not too long ago, society went through a weird phase where women were convinced that casual sex was a key to empowerment and equality with men. But this insanity had the opposite effect. Sex is by nature an intimate act, and even if your intentions are to keep things casual, it’s very difficult to do this in practice. There’s also the concept that when two people have sex, they become physically and energetically intertwined. Learning to honor your body sets the tone for others to honor it too. This is the gateway to epic, soulful sex, where the dark feminine resides.
Will You Tap Into Your Full Divine Feminine?
In order to understand the power of femininity, we need to comprehend the Divine Feminine as a whole. The complexities must be acknowledged and integrated into our idea of what it means to be a feminine woman. When we embrace both our light and dark aspects, we unlock our limitless potential.
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