23 Ways To Create An Elegant Mindset

By DeAndrea Douglas
elegant mindset

Elegance is more than just fashion, style, and appearance. True elegance comes from having the right mindset and thoughts to have an elevated perspective on living. Luckily, creating an elegant mindset is something that anyone can do if they really want to change their life. Once you start to refine your thoughts, you’ll start to see the life you truly want start to become your reality.

Elegant Mindset Tips For Women

A woman with an elegant mindset lives intentionally. She creates an extraordinary life that she finds beautiful, guards her thoughts, and is in full control of her actions. This is a woman who understands that her thoughts, for better or worse, will create her reality. You can start to cultivate a more elegant mindset with these tips.

Be Mindful of What You Consume

It is easy to only think of the food you are putting into your body, but what are you feeding your mind? Are you feeding yourself positivity? You may be allowing negative influences to enter your mind by going about your regular daily routines like watching the nightly news, scrolling endlessly on social media, or listening to an acquaintance gossip. If something is truly important you will hear about it. You don’t have to go actively seek it out.

Be choosy about what you’re listening to, watching, and reading. You are what you “eat” so make sure you are consuming beautiful, inspiring things. Minimize or eliminate low-quality media from your life. If it’s not beautiful or inspiring you to take action in life, it’s probably low quality.

Focus on the Positive

Nobody likes Debbie Downer. When you are focused on what is good and uplifting in your life everything else just falls under your radar. It’s not to say that you can’t have any negative thoughts whatsoever, but you are actively choosing to think positively. Focus on the things, you can change to have a sunnier outlook on life instead of wallowing in the things you can’t.

Look to the Future

It does you no good to dwell on past mistakes or try to bask in former glory. Time marches on. You should be mindful of your past accomplishments and learn from your past mistakes, but don’t let either of them define you. Learn from your mistakes and build on your accomplishments to keep creating a life you’re happy with.

Read Personal Development Books

The wisdom of thousands of people is contained in the pages of books. If you want to take a quantum leap forward in whatever area of life you are looking to grow in, find a few books about that subject to immerse yourself in. You can learn from the mistakes and accomplishments of others instead of having to learn everything by doing it yourself.

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Cultivate a New Hobby or Interest

It is very classy to have a hobby or a project that is not tied to your livelihood. A smart woman will make sure her basic needs are being met, but she will also have something that gets her out of her usual schedule. Having an activity that you do just for fun allows you time and space to clear your mind and fill your cup. Plus, it gives you an opportunity to meet new people that have the same interests as you.

Practice Mindfulness

Being mindful of the moment you’re in gives you an overwhelming sense of peace and happiness. It makes you feel like you are living life on a different level and are more in tune with the world around you. There aren’t too many things that whisper elegance more than being mindful of the moment you’re in and being grateful to have it.

Build Up Your Confidence

Confidence and elegance go hand in hand. It is normal to have a low level of confidence at the beginning of your elegant journey. You are stepping out of your comfort zone to get results that you haven’t gotten before. The more you practice the mannerisms and habits of the elegant woman you want to be the more confident you will become. Elegance has an air of relaxed confidence and security in one’s self so learning more about yourself and what you want from life will only help your confidence grow.


Getting away from the monotony of your daily routine to see and experience a new place is exciting. Everything around you is new and different and for that reason, traveling will help you develop a more elegant mindset. Another layer to elegant living is understanding that there are different ways than your own to go about doing something. Neither is better or worse than the other, just different. Traveling helps you see more and more things that are outside of your norm and that helps you be more empathetic and understanding toward others that are different from you.

Be Mindful of the Company You Keep

You’ve heard it many ways: Your network is your net worth. Show me who your friends are and I’ll show you who you are. You are the sum of the five people you spend the most time with. All of these adages are telling you to mind the company you keep. For better or worse, their thoughts, patterns, values, and beliefs will become yours.

Speak Positively To and About Others

The fastest way to kill your elegance is to speak negatively about other people. No one likes a gossip. If you are speaking nothing but positive things about other people, especially when they are not present, you will come off as more trustworthy. People will feel at ease around you and can be vulnerable around you without fearing that you will speak ill of them the first chance you get. Sadly, this isn’t something that is common nowadays so you’re sure to stand out for being tactful and positive in the ways you speak to and about others.

Don’t Envy Others

Run your race. You don’t know the circumstances of how someone got what they have. You might not be willing to do what they did or endure what they endured to get what they have. The best thing you can do is to focus on achieving the things you want to in life on your terms. If you notice the green-eyed monster creeping up on you it is a good practice to evaluate why it’s appearing. It’s actually a helpful clue telling you something about yourself and your desires. Know that you can have and deserve whatever you want in this life. No one is holding you back from having it except you. Don’t project your shortcomings onto someone else for being on a different level than you. Recognize that you admire what they have and then get to work on getting that for yourself.

Give Your Full Attention and Be Present

How do you feel when you are speaking to someone and they’re scrolling on their phone or looking around the room? I’m guessing not good. Don’t be that person to other people. If someone is speaking to you, give them your full attention. If you need to urgently tend to something that would distract you, offer your apologies and excuse yourself.

It is also helpful to be fully present in everything you do. You’ll notice more details and nuances if you are focused on the present moment instead of the past or the future. Smell the roses!

Open Your Heart

Putting walls up to guard your heart is understandable if you’ve been hurt before and almost all of us have. At some point, you have to open back up. Your walls not only keep your love in, but it also keeps love from others out. You are closed off from experiencing the joy of deep connectedness. Without that, it is hard for you to be warm, magnetic, and open to experiencing the world around you. To develop a more elegant mindset, you need to be fully open to what life has in store for you.

Stop Complaining

Again, no one likes Debbie Downer. Yes, someone may have more than you do or have it easier than you. They could even have a better job than you with less experience. What’s more important is what you do about that. Are you going to keep complaining and hoping that the situation changes by magic or are you going to develop and execute a plan to change the situation? A woman with an elegant mindset will absolutely do the latter.

how to create an elegant mindset

Be Genuine

People can spot a fake person or someone who is trying too hard to gain approval and they usually don’t like that person. It’s understandable to want to be seen as a member of a particular group, but the fastest way to not be in that group is to try too hard to impress them. It reeks of low self-esteem.

There is only one you in the world. If you truly understood the miracle of your existence you wouldn’t spend time trying to be something or someone you don’t actually want to become. Learn how to listen to your inner voice and let that be your guide.

Develop Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence is a useful life skill. It can be helpful in literally every relationship you have. It calls you to connect your personal experiences with the experiences of others. As a result, you will become more empathetic and persuasive. You will be able to adapt to any environment that you’re in and have a clearer boundary between your emotions and the emotions of others and that skill alone will help you manage your own emotions in a healthy way.

Get Enough Sleep

We have all seen a toddler throw a tantrum because they are tired but you might be surprised to know that adults can do that too. Maybe it doesn’t look like kicking, screaming, and crying, but our decision-making can be downright disgraceful if we are too tired to consider the consequences. This is a position you never want to be in. Getting enough sleep helps you develop a more elegant mindset by giving you the energy to think about all of your options and choose the best way forward no matter the situation.

Create Morning & Evening Routines

Every elegant woman has a purpose and a plan. She knows that she needs to start her day off on the right foot and end her day effectively to prepare for the next one. Having a morning and evening routine will ensure that you are taking the time to care for yourself mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. When all of those are settled and in alignment, it is much easier to regulate your emotions and accomplish what you set out to.

Eat Nutritious Food

We mentioned that you are what you eat earlier, but it merits discussion in the literal sense too. What you eat affects literally everything about your body and mind. If you are mostly eating nutrient-dense foods and drinking enough water your body will pay you back by having fewer issues. Your energy levels will be higher, you’ll be able to think and learn better, you will significantly decrease the likelihood of developing many diseases, your immune system will function better, and the list can go on forever. You do not have to follow a strict diet but aim to eat better food around 80% of the time. If you put garbage in you will get garbage out.

cultivate an elegant mindset

Practice Gratitude

If you have clean water, a roof over your head, food in your stomach, and an internet connection you are incredibly wealthy compared to the rest of the world at this point in time. Of course, you can want more out of life than just having your basic needs met, and you can be grateful for having more. The integral part is to remember that you are in a position that many are not and to be grateful that you have what you have.

When you acknowledge and show gratitude for the things that you have materially, emotionally, spiritually, relationally, mentally, or any other descriptor you see the world in a new light. You won’t take anything for granted and will radiate joy. What could possibly be of a more elegant mindset than that?

Ask for Help When You Need It

There is no prize for arriving at the finish line battered and worn out because you didn’t ask for help. It is good to value your independence, but there is strength in knowing how to leverage other people’s strengths to help you. If you don’t know how to do something, don’t understand something, or simply can’t do something ask for help. You’re robbing people of their opportunity to gift you with their assistance. You may be surprised at how many people want to lend a hand.

Remember What’s Important

It can be easy to get caught up in the game of getting money, power, and respect by any means but none of those will fulfill you if you are lonely. People matter. Relationships matter. Connectedness matters. Knowing yourself matters. If you have people in your life who love and care about you and will champion your causes, you possess a different and more fulfilling kind of wealth than solely in finance. It’s perfectly okay to be both financially successful and have good relationships. In fact, we recommend it. But on your path of growth and success don’t forget what matters most.

Never Stop Learning

An elegant mind is always looking for more knowledge and understanding. Keep reading books, taking classes, listening to podcasts, watching videos, or doing anything that will continue to grow your knowledge and skill set. By continuing to learn and grow you are ensuring that you expand your prospects and opportunities. If you are knowledgeable about the right things it can be beneficial to your career (if you want one) and your social life. You will feel more fulfilled because you are never resting solely on the knowledge that you have and understand that there is always more to learn.

The mind is a very powerful thing. The minute you learn how to use your mind as a tool to create a better life for yourself, your life will immediately begin to change, and you will see the world in a completely different light. You will understand that no matter your circumstances, with these elegant mindset tips you have the tools to change your life for the better.

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23 Ways To Create An Elegant Mindset | The Lady Loves Living