I’ve spent more time than I care to think about trying to fit into a narrow mold of what is beautiful and stylish. I’ve spent countless hours flipping through magazines and scrolling feeds to pinpoint what’s trending and even more time trying to replicate those looks myself. No matter what I did I could never meet the standard that was being set for me so I’ve decided to be more discerning with my time and effort.
Instead of letting the algorithms and marketing agencies determine what I should be aiming for, often with the goal of getting me to part ways with my hard-earned money, I’m listening to myself and what I like. These are the practices I’m saying goodbye to.
1. The relentless pursuit of perfectly styled hair.
If you’re chronically online it’s easy to think that everyone is always walking around with perfectly done hair. The feed is the highlight reel, not real life. Real life means that you have obligations that mean you might not have it in you to take the extra time to style your hair every single day, the money to pay for those extensions or that lace wig, or your hair just might need a break.
Life is too short to battle with a blow dryer, styling gel, and/or curling iron. I’ve let go of the pressure to look photoshoot-ready every time I leave the house. No one is checking for me like that and if they are then they’ll have to get used to seeing less-than-perfect hair.
I started my locs intending to be semi-freeform for lower maintenance but I’ve gotten away from that. As a result, they’re getting thinner at the root and I don’t like it. Choosing the health of my hair over meticulous maintenance is almost a no-brainer.
One day I’ll probably comb my locs out and learn how to work with my loose hair, but for the foreseeable future, I’ll be getting back to my more carefree intentions. I’ll take the time to style my hair for the moments and occasions that matter, I’ll be letting the stress of styling go for my day-to-day. I’m looking forward to getting some time back.
2. Stressing Over Trends
This has been a long time coming! I’m happy to leave the stress of feeling the need to hop on every trend I see. I’m letting go of the need to always look like I’m on trend or have gone shopping recently. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wearing a fitted leather jacket or skinny jeans if they make you happy just because roomier jacket cuts and baggy jeans are trending. If you don’t like the trend you don’t have to participate.
I’m taking the time to rediscover what I like to wear regardless of what’s flooding stores and timelines. If I like a trend I’ll go with it, but being trendy for the sake of being trendy is a no for me now.
3. Impulse buying.
This one goes hand-in-hand with being trendy. Seeing everyone wearing jelly shoes, carrying Stanley cups, or canvas totes from ritzy hotels can lead to impulse buying those things to try to keep up with the trend.
I’ll just sit with the notion that something is cute for a while and figure out how it will fit in my current wardrobe or routine before buying it. Something can be cute without me needing to buy it. Making myself take a few days or weeks to buy something forces me to consider if what I might be coveting is something that will actually work for my lifestyle, budget, and overall look.
4. The Pressure to be smaller.
In a world where Ozempic, Wegovy, and other weight loss drugs are available, I’m choosing to give myself some grace. I’ve never been a very skinny person nor have I truly wanted to be. I don’t want to not have an appetite. I love food. I love going to restaurants and trying things that I’ve never had before and letting the chef and staff delight me for a few hours.
I’m bidding farewell to the pressure to fit into a size US4 or 6 and trying to weigh what I weighed five years ago. I still enjoy working out and getting my body moving. I’m just letting go of the pressure to be in a constant calorie deficit. If Rihanna can embrace being thicker, and still look fabulous I might add, so can I.
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