How to be More Feminine in a Relationship

By DeAndrea Douglas
how to be more feminine in a relationship

Let me guess, you are mentally and energetically exhausted. You have been running your household, making sure the bills get paid on time, the trash gets taken out, the dog gets walked, the kids get fed, and to top it all off you are probably earning more money from working than he is. There has been a voice or an inner knowing telling you to ‘stop the madness’ growing louder and stronger. You have come to realize that the feminine journey is the path for you now, but are wondering if choosing this path means the end of your relationship. These tips will show you how to be more feminine in a relationship and let your man be the man.

How to Start Being More Feminine in a Relationship

Being more feminine in your relationship is about learning to surrender and allowing your man to step into the masculine role. The switch is simple to flip, but simple does not mean easy. It is absolutely possible for you to shift the polarity of the roles you and your partner are playing in your relationship. It will take a lot of patience and awareness to tip the scale.

Once you start shifting to embody the feminine role in your relationship there are two possible outcomes:

  1. As you are becoming more feminine your partner will lean into his masculinity and you two will work together to keep increasing the polarity and magnetism between the two of you.
  2. As you are becoming more feminine your partner will reject the opportunity to stand strong in his masculinity. He might not be ready yet or he may not have the capacity to be the kind of masculine man that you need and desire. Yes, this means that your relationship will probably end.

You cannot know which outcome you will get until you start doing the work. Don’t be afraid of losing him. You have so much more to gain by listening to your desire to stop making all of the decisions and carrying most of the responsibilities in your relationship. It’s good to remember that providing is more of an energy than a dollar amount. Just like your beauty is more about an embodiment of energy than being conventionally attractive. Don’t cut him loose because you’ve now decided that you want a rich man. There are more ways to provide than just with money.

how to start being more feminine in a relationship

7 Things You Can Do Right Now to Reverse the Masculine/Feminine Polarity in Your Relationship

1. Take Care of Your Appearance

Feminine energy isn’t just about looking good, but when you start taking care of your appearance and dressing in a way that enhances what you have your man will notice that. One of the biggest fears that men have in relationships is that a woman will let herself go. You don’t have to look perfect all the time, but a little effort built up over time will go a long way.

2. Slow Down and Be Present

You may be the absolute taskmaster, but when you are around your partner slow things down. Feminine energy is not about productivity, it’s about being in the moment and being present. When you slow down you’ll feel more connected to your body and sexier. That will foster physical intimacy.

3. Become a Better Listener

You are far more powerful as a woman when you are listening versus talking. Feminine energy doesn’t seek connection through talking. It’s how we connect with our girlfriends, but not how we connect with the masculine. It is incredibly seductive to be physically present with a man and listen without judgment.

4. Do Not Chase Him

The masculine should pursue the feminine energetically. The feminine will unconsciously pursue the masculine in relationships so you have to be aware of your behavior. If he leaves the house and you’re wondering where he is or if he goes to the kitchen and you’re right there behind him, you’re chasing him. Men can feel suffocated by that kind of energy. Give him space. You are a sovereign queen and he is a sovereign king. Queens don’t follow their men around.

masculine feminine polarity in a relationship

5. Lean Back and Delegate More Responsibilities to Him

If you have been in overworking yourself trying to control everything it’s time to lean back and hand over the reins to him. Let him balance the budget, let him have the final say on which contractor to use, and let him choose which mechanic to take the car to. Lovingly and encouragingly let him know that you trust his judgment and let the chips fall where they may. Let the consequences of his inaction play all the way out, even if it’s painful to watch.

6. Work on Your Feminine Embodiment

Reversing the polarity of your relationship is a two-way street. As you are leaning back from playing the man in your relationship you have to lean into your femininity. You have to re-learn how to live in alignment with your divine feminine essence. Feminine energy is receptive and playful, pleasurable. Spend time alone every day taking care of yourself and your beauty, pick up a feminine hobby, become obsessed with the habits of feminine women, learn how to show your emotions instead of acting like everything is fine, and learn how to ask for help. Those are just the tip of the iceberg but you have to start somewhere.

7. Stop Mothering Him

Don’t solve his problems. If he doesn’t have enough money for something do not open your wallet. If he’s looking for a new job don’t go find one for him. It is important for his self-esteem for him to solve his own problems. It is also important that he feels like we trust him to come up with a solution. If he shares a problem with you encourage him to find a solution by saying, “I trust that you’ll find a way to get it done, I know you can make it happen because you always do or I believe in you!”

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Things To Keep in Mind When Becoming More Feminine in a Relationship

You should expect him to resist this change initially. Men like to conserve their energy so if you have been letting him coast by with the bare minimum he won’t be jumping for joy to have to put in some work. Most of the time men don’t notice that something is breaking. They notice when it’s broken and that’s often very hard to fix at that point. You will have to help him awaken his masculine essence by ignoring any complaints he has as he re-learns how to take charge.

Give him the grace and space to fail. He will not get it right immediately. You’ve been taking up all of the masculine space in the relationship so he’s a little rusty. When you decided to play the more feminine role you weren’t immediately perfect either. Give him time to rise to the occasion and take charge. Expect him to fail at the roles and responsibilities you’ve given him for a while. You’ll have interest charged on credit cards, delayed maintenance on your car, a faucet that leaks too much, and trash cans that have been overflowing for days. You will have to stick to your guns and let the natural consequences happen. Don’t let him know your frustrations. Act like nothing is amiss. Don’t run and complain to your family and friends either, unless they completely understand this work and why it is important. It is a rough road ahead but it will be worth the journey.

How to be More Feminine in a Relationship | The Lady Loves Living