So I’ve been on a journey of listening to myself more and trying to build a life that I love – hence the name of this site. I kept coming across the concept of surrender when it comes to mental wellness and resilience. It is often suggested that surrendering is the key to solving life’s issues, but it’s not an easy thing to do. Especially for someone who is used to pushing, persevering, and overcoming obstacles. Surrendering is a complex process that involves relinquishing control over our relationships with ourselves and others, hence why it is often referred to as the art of surrender. There is no exact science to it and the process of surrendering will be different for everyone. You have to allow yourself to give up control of the limiting beliefs and behaviors of your ego-self and allow a higher power to take control. The lyrics to “Jesus Take The Wheel” make a lot more sense to me now. Surrendering enables us to access a sense of oneness, wholeness, and balance, leading to a life of effortless manifestation.
Jesus, take the wheel
– Carrie Underwood
Take it from my hands
‘Cause I can’t do this on my own
I’m letting go
Nevertheless, the journey toward surrender is not easy, as it requires an immense amount of attention and awareness to overcome our controlling tendencies and emotional chaos. Again, this is hard for people, like me, who are used to trying to control everything and whittle things down to an exact process that gets results. For people like me surrendering is a sign of defeat and tapping out or admitting that you’re not strong enough. For us, surrender means defeat. Contrarily, we tend to surrender to unhealthy habits, cravings, and addictions to avoid the discomfort of facing our unmet needs. Alcoholics drink to escape something in their life or numb some kind of pain. However, this reinforces our controlling patterns and beliefs that we are not good enough or worthy enough. If we want the pain to go away, we can just eat the food, drink the cocktails, or whatever and the pain is temporarily numbed.
How To Practice the Art of Surrender
It’s natural to wonder, “How do I surrender?” The answer is annoyingly simple and complex at the same time. We tend to try to surrender by trying to have control over the outcome, which leads to a battle of wills. However, true surrender is about catching our reactions before we actually react. It is about guarding your thoughts and being mindful or the patterns you have that lead to you thinking you have control over the outcome. It is about acknowledging the discomfort and chaos of our emotions, and simply allowing them to be. The concept is easy, but the practice is hard. This non-reactive state allows us to access a state of flow and unity with the world.
By surrendering and letting something bigger than us take the proverbial wheel, we create new healthy patterns that support our future selves. Surrendering is almost confusingly empowering. It means that you don’t have to will everything you want to happen into existence on your own. It allows room for contemplation, reflection, and more self-awareness. It even allows room for grace not only for yourself but allows you to give it to others too. It allows us to begin to believe in ourselves and our ability to change, opening our hearts to acceptance and allowing us to trust our innate abilities to receive.
Surrendering is not about defeat but it is about embracing the unknown and trusting in our higher self and something bigger than us. It requires us to break down our relationship with our controlling ego and build a relationship with our deeper selves, leading to a life of harmony, peace, and empowerment. You will not be so easily rocked by changes that are happening all around you and you will always trust that things will work out in your favor. It is not an easy state to stay in without lots of practice. And the only way to practice is by doing. I wish I had more to help you learn to surrender right now, but I am still working on it. I get the concept, but for now, I am learning to practice.
The Powerful Art of Surrender | The Lady Loves Living
